You Only Dream Once
by magaly05
Summary: For my loyal Readers. Once upon a dream in Inuyasha POV. Their love is dysfunctional, but would you have it any other way?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Okay for all of you that follow Once upon a Dream, Here is You Only Dream Once. Its Inuyasha's POV, Let me know if you like it.**

I can smell her even before she reaches the mahogany door that separates her from me, keeping her in her reality well at least for now. The door slowly opens and her scent of cherry blossoms seems so surround me, I take a deep breath; never before meeting her had just the mere scent of someone clamed my demons and sent me into a frenzy all at the same time.

I see her and my body automatically moves to meet her, and I realize my mistake for moving too quickly; she hesitates and starts backing away. I can't let her leave, not now…not ever. I growl, not an intimidating growl just a low warning, I can't have her walk away…I need her too much. A smirk graces my features as resignation and determination grace hers, she slowly walks in. She might not know how much she wants this, but I do… I know her body so well that I know she wouldn't actually leave but I have to make sure that thought doesn't linger in her mind for too long.

Slowly and deliberately walk towards the window so she can see it's me and she won't be frightened, I can't risk her leaving. She looks up and I connect with pure azure, her eyes are always so telling… she's begging me to keep her, pleading with me to never leave her, imploring to make her feel like only I can. She looks down. She knows I can read her like a book and I hate that she tries to hide that from me, I growl. In an instant I'm staring into cobalt, I love how her body seems to automatically react to my unspoken commands, I love seeing her fight with herself when she tries futilely to keep her selfcontrol.

Her trembling hand reaches for the light switch.

"Leave it off." Her hand automatically retracts, and I'm glad that I have control over something in this situation.

…

I still can't believe she's even here, seeing as I haven't had contact with her in over a month. Hardest fucking month of my life. She has always been my go to girl, not a booty call, I'll break anyone's fucking mouth if they ever call her that. She was always much more than that to me, she's my girl. We were never official, not because I didn't want to be with her… keh, when are things ever that simple? I had my reasons for pulling away, but feel free to judge me if you want, I pulled away and she…well she just let me go.

She was my drug and I had to quit cold turkey. I can't fucking tell you how many times I wanted to call her, text her, reach out to her, but I just couldn't. Everything about her is perfection, her eyes pierce my soul, her candied lips are addictive honey, her skin is flawless porcelain, and her midnight black hair cascades down her back like a waves of the finest silk. I could never seem to get enough of her.

A couple hours ago, I couldn't take it anymore… I saw her online on my instant-messenger and sent her a message.

Takahashi_Inuyasha: Can I call you?

I half expected her to just ignore me, but she didn't.

Kaggie_123: If you want.

My cell phone trembled in my hand; I couldn't dial her number fast enough. We talked for a couple hours, and I invited her to my apartment, surprisingly she agreed to come over.

And now here we are, I'm standing in a dark apartment, with the girl that I tried to leave behind. She shouldn't be here and I know that; she knows that. Soon it will go back to the way it was a month ago, but I'm not sure I can pass up this opportunity. My heart starts racing, and my breath is shortened, but I keep my composure she can never know how much control she has over me.

She stepped inside and closed the door behind her… there's no turning back now.

**A/N: So that's chapter one, as always Read and Review, your opinion is always valued. =)**


	2. Beautiful Nightmare

**A/N: Here is chapter two, hope you guys enjoy it.**

**Chapter 2 Beautiful Nightmare**

She turns around to lock the door, giving me her back, and I take full advantage of my demon speed; within a few seconds I'm behind her. I inhale deeply, I love her scent…sometimes it's the only thing that keeps me grounded. I can feel her relax in my embrace, she exposes her neck to me, a sign that she trusts me completely; I waste no time in placing slow, sweet, open mouth kisses on her sensitive skin. It is in this time; in these mere minutes that everything seems right in my life. There are any worries, no cants, no won'ts, and especially no shouldn'ts; all there is, is her heartbeat, her shortened breath, her soft skin, her candied kisses. Only we exist, only we matter.

I whisper into the back of her neck.

"You have no idea how much I've missed you Kagome." And she really doesn't.

I missed everything about her.

When I touch her, my entire body feels like it was set on fire. But it's not the type of fire I want to run away from, no; I want to burn for as long as possible. Hell I want to set her ablaze too. Nothing else matters anymore, my senses are clouded by her; by the time I realize I have already succeeded in unbuttoning her blouse. It's like my hands have a mind of their own when she is in front of me. I need more of her, I have to have her now; I turn her around and push her against the door pressing my body on to her. She captures my mouth her candied lips and it's like liquid fervor. I can never seem to get enough of her kisses. When she tugs on my hair I can feel my demon breaking free, my hands are all over her and I can't stop myself. I pick her up and she wraps her legs around my waist not breaking our kiss for a second; as I take her into my bedroom I push aside any other thoughts from my mind.

I can regret tomorrow, tonight I will just enjoy feeling alive.

I don't know what it is about her, but no one before her or after her has ever made me feel the way she does. When I'm with her, she consumes my thoughts but I can't let her know how much she means to me. Why? Because this isn't real, it's just a fantasy that will dissipate as fast as it materialized.

I wish I could give her what she deserves, she deserves someone that devotes his entire time to her; someone that can make her happy forever. I've never been happier than when she is with me, and I feel incomplete when she's not around. It doesn't make sense, and I don't know if you will understand, hell I don't know if you will even believe me, but it's like it's harder to breathe without her.

Forever that's what I want to promised her.

-Sigh- Won't happen, can't happen.

She walked into my life a couple of years ago, during a very difficult and confusing time in my life, and ever since…it's like she's been there for me my entire life. She saved me. There's nothing she won't do for me…nothing. And I would give my life for her in an instant, no hesitation. I…think I love her. It's so fucking hard to think straight when it comes to her.

You have to understand, well actually I don't care if you understand or not, hell you can judge me if you want but the passion between us is raw. After we gave into the feelings for each other it has been pure desire for her that drives me. At first I thought it was just lust, but I know better now; that kinda scares me you know.

Have you ever been on the top floor of a skyscraper? You know that feeling you get when you look down? You feel like you're going to die and you're scared to fall, but you just can't leave because the view is just too damn beautiful? Yea, it's something like that.

When I look into her eyes my world is at peace, too bad I can't stay in her eyes. She calms my turbulent mind and yet I have never been so out of control. I know this is wrong, I know she's not for me, I know I'm not what she needs, but I just can't seem to fucking let her go. It's selfish, I know; you don't have to tell me.

I wish I could stay with her like this forever, loving her the way she craves, the way she needs. But the morning came too quickly and I'm awakened from my blissful sleep by a very familiar ringtone…

**A/N: If you are following the original story don't worry I will update that soon too, just give me a little bit of time since now I'm working on both at the same time. But I think I want to update this story until I this one up with the other one, that way when I update, I'll be updating both at the same time. What do you guys think, would that be a good idea? Let me know. As always Read and Review. =)**


	3. Rude Awakening

**A/N: Here is chapter three. Enjoy!**

**Chapter 3 Rude Awakening**

I hear my phone ring and it stirs me out of my peaceful slumber; I reluctantly move aside from the sleeping form next to me, to answer my cell phone. I check the caller ID.

~Kikyo~

Shit.

I try to whisper as low as possible, the last thing I want to do now is wake Kagome.

"Hey babe."

"Hi. You didn't forget that tonight is the dinner with my parents, did you darling?"

"No I didn't forget." _How could I forget, you would never let me do that…_ "I will try to be there."

"Inu, daddy wants to make you the head of the company; you have to do more than just try. Anyway I have to go shopping. I'll talk to you later, Love you."

"I love you too. Bye."

As I end the call I feel a knot tightening in my stomach, the dinner is tonight, and the last place I want to spend the evening is with Kikyo's family.

I scent her tears in the air; and I know she's awake. The air leaves my lungs and I can't seem to inhale, I feel sick. This is where the beauty of this dream ends, and a horrible nightmare begins.

She squirms with in the blankets almost like she's struggling with herself. She turns to find me with my head in my hands, I try my best to keep these feeling hidden. Kagome shouldn't be burdened with the feelings that harden my soul, so I turn to her and give her my best smile.

I need to feel her close, she's the only one that can ground me and I need her now more than ever. I come back to bed and hold her close; I wish I could just hold her like this forever. My heart melts every time I hold her; it never fails.

"Good morning baby." I kiss her passionately and for a minute, just for a minute... I'm happy.

I know there's something preoccupying her mind, she gets up and starts gathering her clothes; I managed to scatter them all over the place last night. The morning sun coming in through the curtains illuminates her body giving her an almost angelic look. No not an angel, more like a goddess.

"Come back to bed Kagome."

"I can't, I have somewhere to be... and apparently, so do you." She sounds disappointed.

I pull her back to bed and hold her close to me; I can't let her leave, not now. I need her.

"What's so important that you have to leave without a proper good-bye?" Her warmth envelopes me, and nothing feels wrong. This is why I can never let her go away.

"Kouga wants me to go see his new apartment." She takes a minute to respond, but she finally responds.

"Keh, I can't believe you're talking to his sorry ass, it's not like he's better than me. Is he?" I try to keep my voice steady, but I'm not sure I succeeded. I can't help it. Just the thought of another man touching her irritates me.

"Are you gonna cancel on Kikyo?" She sounds upset, but still I know she's trying to avoid my question. As soon as she tries to get out of bed, I pull her back and make her face me.

"Is he better than me?" That turned into a growl midway. I need to know.

During the time I stepped out of her life he started talking to Kouga. He works in the same building with me, and I just don't like him.

"He's just a friend, Inu." She turns away from me.

"Keh, not by his choice I'm sure." I don't care if I sound like a pouting child. I can't let her go. "Then... blow him off. Tell him something came up, and stay here with me."

I know you're probably thinking that I'm an arrogant, selfish bastard, and you might be right, but I don't care. I love her. Even if it took me a while to realize it I think I love her. I don't even know how to explain how I feel. It's like she completes me. Her smile warms my heart, her sweet voice sooths me and without her I feel like I'm out of my mind. Yet no matter how much I love her… I know I'm not good enough for her.

And then there's Kikyo.

You see, Kikyo is my girlfriend and if she gets her way…soon to be my fiancé. She loves me. She's sweet, kind, caring and she's also my boss's daughter. We had been dating for a while; then I met Kagome and she dragged me out of a very dark place and I never felt more alive.

As much as I want to be with Kagome…how can I leave Kikyo behind? She doesn't deserve that. Now I can't seem to leave Kagome behind, I know it has to end.

_For her sake and mine, soon I'll force myself to leave._

"If he's just a friend... then stay with me today." It's selfish to want her to stay with me, but I can't help it. "Baby, stay with me. I've missed you so much; I need you more than the air I breathe. Don't tell you didn't miss me."

"I can't."

"Keh, why the hell not?" I hold her tight.

"Tell you what, how about I come back tonight?"

It will end… but not tonight.

**A/N: As always read and review! =)**


	4. Disquieting Dream

**A/N: Sooooo soooo sorry for the long wait. Life and work kept me from writing, but I do hope you guys didn't give up on me. As always read and review, if you have any suggestions or request of where of how this should go just let me know. Much love everyone. =)**

**Chapter 4: Disquieting Daydream**

I lay in bed as I watch her finish gathering her clothes and get dressed. She's out the door within fifteen minutes. I still can't believe she agreed to come back tonight. I know I should have said no, but I can't; I just can't.

I stand at my window and see her exciting the apartment building; if she moved any faster she would practically be running and somehow I get the feeling that she could be running away from her decision. This is when I know what I need to do, what I have to do. Picking up my phone, I coax the touch screen to come on and type in a text to her…

Midnight.

I know she won't refuse me, she can't. It will kill me if she does, so for my sake as much as hers I hope to Kami that she shows.

Pushing all negative thoughts aside I make my way to my bathroom for a shower.

…

Feeling like a new man I step out of my invigorating hot shower, just as my phone rings.

~Kikyo~

I put her on speaker phone.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Inu. When are you gonna come over?"

"I'm getting dressed; I'll be on my way soon, after I finish some work."

"Well I hope you won't be late."

"I won't." And I know I really won't. I want to talk to her.

"Mkay, well I'll see you as soon as you get here."

I hear her start to pull the phone away from her ear… "Kikyo, wait."

"Yes?"

"I…"** I need to tell you how I feel…**

"What is it?"

"I…I promise I won't be late…"

"Aww mkay, you're the best. Love... you."

"I…I… do too. I'll be there soon."

Immediately after hanging up my thoughts go back to Kagome and as wrong as it is and as bad as it sounds, I need her now as much as ever. Before she found me I felt nothing, I was nothing, and now when she's not around I feel like I can't breathe. I need her in my life, like the sun needs the moon, like the eagle needs the wind, like a koi needs the water. And now I know that if I don't leave her behind…I never will.

I put my cell phone away and finish getting dressed. Maybe work will help me clear my mind.

…

Seven came around quickly, I found myself standing outside a very familiar door. I reach for the doorbell and stop short once again for what seems like the tenth time. I inhale deeply as the cool wind swirls around me and I calmly, finally ring the door.

Soon a vision of, what anyone else would describe as, perfection opens the door. Kikyo stood there, her hair flowed down her back like a beautiful ebony cascade, the dress she picked out for tonight hugged her body flawlessly. At any other time I would have nothing on my mind other than ravishing her, but tonight that's the furthest thing in my thoughts.

"You finally made it." She envelops me in a hug, and I try to put my arms around her but my body doesn't seem to want to coöperate with me.

"I'm not late am I?"

She laughs and I notice how her laughter no longer illuminates the room.

"Is everything ok? I know something is going on, why don't you tell me?" I guess she noticed my attitude, I can smell her fear and concern in the air and...something else... for a second my eyes play a trick on me, because I can see guilt in her eyes...

Only after a deep breath I am able to answer. "It's just been a long day."

I can see she's not satisfied with my answer but she leads into the house anyway; instead of leading me into the living area, she takes me to her fathers study.

"Daddy says he wants to talk to you before dinner." She smiles but I notice the happiness she is trying to portray never really reaches her eyes.

Her inner turmoil makes me feel sick, I can't stand knowing that I'm the one putting her through this. Pushing those thoughts aside I reach for the door, it's only then that I notice she's holding on to my hand as if hesitating to let me in the room.

"Inu..." Her eyes focus on the floor, she shakes her head and proceeds, "See you at dinner..." spinning around she walks away quickly leaving me a little confused.

...

The meeting in the study was formal but very routine excluding the fact that Kikyo's father offered me to make me CEO of his company. I... respectfully declined, telling him that I wanted to climb the ladder of success by my own merit and not because I was dating his daughter, that I was grateful for the opportunity but I could not take advantage of his generosity. He was a little shocked, but understood the fact that being both alike, if it were him he would have done the same.

…

Dinner was exquisite, as usual.

Afterwards we are all in the living area, talking and having a good time; I can't seem to get out of my head. Kikyo laughs and my attention is drawn to her.

How am I supposed to tell her, the person that has been with me for so long, that I no longer love her? That being with her seems to imprison me, and all I want to do is escape. That I feel like I'm suffocating in my guilt? That whether she leaves or stays it makes no difference to me, or when she caresses me all I feel is remorse for thinking of someone else. That I feel like a sacred coward, that I feel terrible when I see her fighting the emotions within her.

I can't take the questions in my head, suddenly feeling like I lack air, I stand up and go out through the front door.

No more than twenty seconds afterwards the front door opens again and a concerned Kikyo appears before me.

"Do you want to talk? I know something is wrong, I've noticed lately you rarely smile, you stare at me without ever saying a single word. Is it something you heard?"

"It's just that... Kikyo...I don't feel..." I force myself to continue, "up for this right now. I'm just tired, I told you it's been a really long day."

"If something is wrong you can tell me."

"Everything is ok, so don't worry about it. It's just work." I'll end it. Just not tonight I don't want to ruin her evening.

"I'm just going to go home and rest." I reach for her but she stays where she is at.

"You've changed so much Inuyasha." The last thing I see is her raven hair disappear into the door way.

Even though I know it's wrong, and probably makes me sound like a jerk, but the only thing...person I can think about now is Kagome. I need to see her, need to have her in my arms to regain my sanity, to tell her that I love her.

I race home to make it home by midnight.

12:01. ~To Kagome: Where are you?~

She's never late.

12:30 ~To Kagome: Waiting…~

I feel like I'm going crazy, and I'm losing my courage to tell her how I feel.

12:45 ~To Kagome: Forget it then.~

And then it hits me...she's still with him...the thought of his hands on her makes me sick. And I can't take it.

I drive over to her place and let myself in with her spare key. As soon as I open the door her scent surrounds me, I inhale deeply and the anger I felt dissipates. I know this is where I belong. Surrounded by her and only her.

I lay on her couch and blissful memories flood my head, and a smile graces my lips. Not long after I heard the door unlock and felt her step inside.

"'Bout fucking time you got home."


	5. Absolute Illusion

**A/N: Okay, So I got to work and finished this one too. YAY! for no sleep lol. I hope you like. More chappies coming as soon as I get a chance lol. But soon. =)**

**Chapter 5: Absolute Illusion**

I see her nearly jump back and I can't help but smirk, I really caught her off guard.

"You almost gave me a heart-attack Yasha" Kagome clenches her shirt right above her heart as if manually trying to stop it from jumping out of her chest. I must admit its kind of amusing.

"Well maybe if you would have kept your promise I wouldn't of had to come over this late." I respond taking my time to slowly sit up.

"I'm sorry, I… I got side tracked." I see a small smile on the corner of her mouth and I know immediatly, I failed at suppressing my irritation.

"Doing?" You know what it bothers me and I don't care if she can tell.

"Talking." She starts walking away and I feel myself panic. Kagome has never walked away from me before, catching up with her I pull her back and into me.

I lean close to her ear to whisper, "ONLY talking?"

Her muscles relax and I feel her melt into me, I can't help my triumphant smirk...if she was fighting me, she just lost.

"Yes. Just talking. I'm sorry I didn't go over. I'm really tired can we go to sleep?"

"Sleep? I'm not even tried…" My hands start to explore her body; I love her so much, I need to show her just how much.

Before she has a chance to protest I turn her and capture her sweet mouth with my own. Her candied kisses become my life line and I'm not planning on letting her go. I explore her physique and it's like for the first time in my life I realize what a work of art she is. No more like a masterpiece. I want to, no I need to show her that she turns this bitter nightmare I call my life into a beautiful dream; a dream I never want to wake from.

She allows me to take her in my arms, tomorrow I will make her my one and only. I've been so stupid this whole time...I should have done that a long time presence surrounds me, her scent engulfs me, my love for her consumes me and obliterates the remorse that I feel for leaving Kikyo behind. In this moment, this unmarred moment my love belongs to her and only her. It always has.

I break our kiss only when air is becomes essential; I can feel her body react to my every touch. Even her body knows she belongs to me as she willingly yields to my desires. Her touch sets my hear and skin on fire, I want to show her she belongs with me, and my heart belongs only to her.

…

With her warm body securely next to mine, I slowly drift off to blissful sleep. There is no need to dream when my reality is better than any possible dream. Tomorrow I'll ask Kagome to be mine.

A couple of hours later I slightly stir out of my sleep reaching for my Kagome but I'm met by a void.

"Kags, come back to bed." Complete silence. Her side is cool to the touch, she hasn't been laying down for a long while. I'm fully awake now.

"Kagome?" I reach for the bedside lap, and turn to her side of the bed and find a note on her pillow.

"No..." I get up and look for her, and I have to admit that for the first time in a long time...I'm afraid. With shaking hands I take pick up the piece of paper, taking a deep breath to ready myself.

_My Dearest Inuyasha,_

_I was wondering when it was that I started to feel this way, and I've realized that it was from the start. There is just too much distance between us, and the pain overwhelms me with every breath I breathe. Your arms still make me feel safe, but not like before; I wonder if you feel the same way. I know I will never fill the void that your love will leave, but at least I will no longer have the poison of your other life consuming my every thought. It's getting so difficult to even recall the beauty of us that we once had. I've realized that life is short… without you my nights will be cold…but I can no longer breath when I am next to you. No matter how much I love you, I will never be the only one in your life; you will always hold a special place in my heart… but I have to leave you in the past. I will no longer hold you back from the happy ending that you deserve. So while you were sleeping, I decided that tonight is the night that I need to move on, I will never forget you but… don't look for me…I won't look back,… don't wait for me… I won't come back._

_Loving you always,_

_Kagome_

Suddenly I can't breath. What the hell is happening? My world is crumbling around me and I can't breath. I think...I think I'm crying.

I dial her number and it rings twice.

_**Hi, you've reached Kagome. You know the drill.**_

She ignored my call.

~Kagome, don't do this. Come back please.~

Nothing.

~Kagome. Please, I'm begging you. Please come back.~

~I love you.~

I close my eyes. She's not answering. Why?

I dial her number again.

_**Hi, you've reached Kagome. You know the drill.**_

She turned her cellphone off. I get dressed, I have to find her. I need to get her back. It's only then that I realize...I don't know where she is... I don't even know where to start looking.

_Fuck. Why now? Kagome, you're killing me._


	6. Spellbinding Dream

_**A/N: Hello everyone, I know you guys have been waiting for an update. So here it is. Its short, I know. Forgive me. I am trying to finish the next chapter right now as well so hopefully there will be a two chapter update today. **_

Chapter 6 Spellbinding Daydream

I don't even know how long it's been exactly since Kagome walked out on me, and I can't bring myself to not go by her apartment. Every time the phone rings my heart skips a beat thinking it might be her calling me or texting me back. I know it's probably a waste of time but I have hope, because as of now my world is dark and cold, it seems the more I try to snap out of it, the more I seem to spiral towards this eternal abyss. It feels like my heart left right along with her, when Kagome walked out of the bedroom that night.

What hurts the most is when I'm alone, and I start to think about what could have been...all the If's.

If I had showed her how much she meant with for me...

If I had told her that she was the one and only one for me...

I haven't even been at my own apartment much, call me a creep but I want to be here in case she come back. I go to work to take my mind off of her, but after the work day, it always drifts off back to her.

My phone rings for what seems the hundredth time, bringing me out of the state of daydream seems to completely consume me.

**~Kikyo~**

After avoiding her calls, to keep some of my own sanity, I finally decide to answer.

"Hello?"

"Where have you been all this time?" She sounds a little frustrated.

"I've just been busy, stressed; I don't want to talk about it right now." I really don't, but fuck it I know I have to at one point in time.

"Well you may not want to talk, but I do Inuyasha."

I guess this is as good a time as any, I'm going to break this off there is no turning back. "Ok, when and where."

"Come pick me up in half an hour. We really need to talk." By the tone in her voice, I'm not sure if she's just upset or if something else is going on.

I show up at her place, and I'm pretty sure I look like hell. Usually I would have gotten dressed up to go meet her, but I don't feel like it at the moment. The moment I reach her house one a red haired girl opens the door, I can see a sort of sadness in her eyes when she looks at me. Wow, I really must look terrible for Ayame to take pity on me.

"Hello Ayame, I'm here to see Kikyo." I quickly run my fingers through my hair trying to settle it down, suddenly I feel very self-conscious.

"I know..." I can see her fidget with her white and blue maid dress.

Then for a second I think I see mischief in her eyes. "Follow me; I'll take you to her."

I follow her closely as she leads me to Kikyo's father's study, the walk there seems to take forever. I notice the door is slightly ajar. Ayame's eyes glitter as she notices the door as well. There is a sense of her motioning me towards the door; I can hear Kikyo talking on the phone… I know it's wrong but I can't help over hear her.

"I'll tell him tomorrow, I promise…Yes, I'm gonna see him today…No I can't tell him today, I haven't seen him in about a week so I can't just drop this on him…I can't drag him along any more…I want to give myself and love fully to you, but dragging him along is not fair to him or you. I should go, he'll be here any moment…I love you"

I can't listen to this anymore, and I guess I should not be upset since I was coming to end this but somehow my ego is still hurt. I wait for her to open the door because I'm not about to drop in, even if I wanted I wouldn't know what to say.

Kikyo steps out of the study and she almost jumped out of her skin.

"Inu..Inuyasha…how long have you been standing out here?" I can see her hands visibly shaking.

"Long enough."

_**I hope you liked it. As always read and review. Will update soon.**_


	7. Never Ending Dream

_**A/N: Okay so this is the last chapter i needed to Officially have both of my stories caught up. YAY! from now on I will keep both updated at the same time that way you guys can have both POVs at the same time. Thank you guys so much for keeping up with this story. I'm glad it has kept you guys interested. **_

**Chapter 7. Never Ending Dream**

"Wait, Inu…I can explain."

"Don't worry. Really it's okay. Hope you're happy Kikyo."

I do the only thing I can think of to ease her worry; I hug her and walk away. I decide to walk away because honestly I deserve all of what's happening to me. There really is no need for her to feel worse than she already does; it wouldn't be fair for me to complain or make a scene considering...well considering I haven't been honest myself.

Sometimes I think I'm a fucking masochist, because I would rather feel any kind of pain than the eternal nothingness that consumes me this very instant. Even when I felt her wanting to run away...I never really thought she'd actually do it, and now that she has, I can't seem to live with myself and the fact that I know she loves me enough to put me before her and walk away, makes me love her even more. I'm such a fucking idiot.

For the last couple of days I just stayed at her apartment whenever I wasn't at work. When the movers started coming over, every time the door opened I would jump.

The first time I tried following them in hoping they would lead me to her, but they took all of her stuff to storage. I guess she wouldn't be one to make things easy for me; I guess she figured if I was around I might just follow them. After a while the guys started talking to me, I guess taking pity on crazy guy who seems desperate. They'd tell me how she was, that she looked depressed…that she was with another man; but before I went fucking insane they told me that it didn't seem they were together, more like roommates. I knew she wouldn't just move on so quickly, she loves me. Maybe even needs me just as much as I need her.

One of the guys, Bankotsu, came up to me one day right before they left and asked me if I wanted to send her a message he would deliver it for me; I'd have to promise not to follow them, because he was risking his job if I did. So i figured for the first time in my miserable life I'd think of someone other than myself, so I agreed. I'd write to her and he would deliver it, if she responded and sent something back, he would make sure it found its way to me.

_My dearest Kagome,_

_I don't know if you are going to read this, I hope you do. I need you to know that I love you. I realize it might be too late, but I want you to know that there is no one else for me. Please come back to me._

_Missing you,_

_Inuyasha_

No response to this one. Bankotsu says he gave it to her and she took it inside. What if she hates me? I have to try again.

_Kagome,_

_I love you so much, and I need to tell you that you are my one and only. I know right now you may not want to hear from me and that's completely understandable, I was a coward. I should have ended it with Kikyo from the moment I realized I was in love with you and only you. I put you through so much, I was self-centered and hurt you so much. I can't blame you for walking away; I have to admit that if I had been you I wouldn't have lasted as long as you did. But I promise, if you give me another chance I will devote the rest of my life to making it up to you. My life was meaningless before meeting you, guided when I found you, and my love for you will keep me going._

_I love you,_

_Inuyasha_

I'm giving her time to get back to me. I know her and because I know her so well I know that it will take her a few days to even read my letter, and if she does there is no telling if she will even write back. Maybe she will decide that it's for the best to stay away; I couldn't blame her if she did.

...

Today is the last day the guys are going to come to Kagome's apartment. So if there is a response it will be today.

I see Bankotsu and he shakes his head when I get in his line of sight. I can feel my heart drop to my toes.

"She didn't give me anything for you. Man, I'm sorry." I can see he is being completely genuine in his statement.

"It's ok. I had a feeling. I mean I was hopeful, but...its ok." My heart is erratic, but I try to keep my cool. I start walking away, since I'll probably end up being in the way.

"OH! Inuyasha." I turn to him.

"Yes?"

"Hey, do you know if she kept anything of yours?" I have to admit I'm a little baffled by the question.

"Maybe, I'm not sure. Why?"

"Well..." I can practically see his gears turning trying to figure out how to word the next part of his statement. "We'll when I was giving her the letter, I swear I could smell your scent was on her."

_**A/N: There it is, I hope it didnt disappoint. Great so from this point foward its all new for you guys, since I'll be updating them both together. =)**_

_**As always read and review. comment and suggestions are always welcome.**_


	8. New Dream?

**A/N: Okay so I was typing like a crazy person trying to get this chapter out at the same time as the chapter for Once Upon A Dream, but alas it took me a couple more days to get this one out. I promise the next ones will be updated at the same time. If you havent read Chapter 9 for Once upon a dream, go on and read it before or after this is one lol =)**

**Chapter 8: A New Dream?**

As confused as I was by his statement, I have to admit I was kind of relived because if he could smell me on her that means that maybe as his theory states, perhaps she still has something of mine. And well it has been a while so it's only expected that my scent would be faint. But this means one thing and one thing only…She still loves me. She misses me, because why else would she be carrying something of mine around if not to remind her of me.

A huge smile is plastered on my face, and I can tell it caught Bankotsu off guard because he asks, "Umm dude are you ok? You gave a weird crazy guy vibe just now."

"Yea, I'm fine." I try to play it off cool and laugh it off. "You just don't know what this means to me."

At least she still thinks about me.

…

The past events give me even more encouragement to look for her; I knew a love like ours could not just fade away.

Sitting in front of my computer typing up paperwork is the only time that I push thoughts of her aside, only for the time needed to finish my work. I can't risk losing my job now that I'm not with Kikyo, not that her father would do anything out of spite since our seperation was something mutual, but I can't risk it. It's weird to say Kikyo and I are acutally on speaking terms, I hold no ill feelings towards her and neither does she...we just realized we weren't right for eachother.

My thoughts go right back to Kagome and I feel like a star struck school boy, always thinking about her, daydreaming about her, loving her…it's fucking ridiculous, but I wouldn't change these feelings for anything.

...

For the first time in a long time I can admit to myself and to anyone that asks that I love Kagome. I have loved her for a long time now, and from what I'm feeling now I know I always will. She has been one of the few people who has truly cared and loved me for who I am, and now I have to prove to her that I will do anything to get her back.

A text message brings me back from my la-la-land, I almost don't read it because I'm so behind on my work.

_**~Text Message~**_

But it's from a number that I don't recognize.

_**"Is this Inuyasha Takahashi?"**_

I usually don't answer calls or texts from numbers I don't recognize but I have a gut feeling I should respond to this one. Still I take a few minutes to deliberate whether I should answer or not.

_**"Who wants to know?"**_

_**"It's about Kagome…Is this Inuyasha or not?"**_

My heart dropped to my knees…

_**"This is Inuyasha."**_

I want to ask so many questions, but I want to know who this person is and what they know about Kagome.

_**"Do you want to know where she is?"**_

_**"Who is this? And why do you assume I don't know where Kagome is?"**_

_**"Why don't you go ahead and assume that I know more than you... I want to help you but, I need to know what you feel for her..."**_

Okay this was getting too personal too soon, who the fuck is this person.

_**"Why don't you start by telling me who this is?"**_

_**"Okay, I see that at this moment you are more interested in knowing who is providing the information rather than caring about the information itself...maybe later your concern will change."**_

Wait, what the hell? Ok, maybe I should have been more concerned with what the information was but wouldn't you want to know who is sending you text like that? Call me crazy but how am I supposed to trust someone who text me out of no where? But if this person can tell me where Kagome is...I guess I will have to push all other concerns aside.

_**"Wait, fine I won't ask who you are. What were you going to tell me?"**_

**A/N: It's short I know, promise to make up for it in the next chaper. =)**


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